After the Flightmare
by but-can-you-fly
Summary: It's been a big day, and Astrid needs some time to just let things sink in. (One-shot formerly part of my other fic, but I decided to separate them for convenience's sake. Cheerio!)
**Ok, this is my first ever httyd fic. I know some things may be shaky, but hopefully you have fun with it!**

Astrid sat on the roof of her house, gazing vacantly up at Arvin-dal's fire. Something important had happened today. She had faced her uncle Finn Hofferson's bane: the majestic, deadly Flightmare that terrorised Berk every time the green fire blazed across the heavens. Her uncle was paralysed, apparently by fear, but Astrid – she discovered the truth, with the help of her friends, and drove away the Flightmare. Today she redeemed her family name, in a sense officially becoming Fearless Astrid Hofferson. It was something she had worked towards her entire life. She didn't know how to feel. Well, she knew exactly how to feel – ecstatic, jubilant, beatific – it was just a lot to take in.

It all began ten years ago, the last time the Flightmare ravaged Berk. She was only five then, yet already with tremendous drive to be like her fearless uncle Finn. Everybody believed in his loving soul and courageous heart, Astrid more than anyone; but what do you do when your hero falls? What do you do when your faith is shattered? It broke her heart and drove a splinter into her mind: even the best is not enough. So she trained, drilled, worked until her blisters burst and her brow bristled with sweat. No room for mercy or compassion. Not for herself, or anyone else. She always had to be better; she had to be ready. And so went ten years of this. Astrid became synonymous with excellence, with a work ethic and warrior prowess that made her the pride of Berk. She earned the exultation of her elders and the adoration of her peers…particularly the male ones, to her revulsion. With all her prestige she sometimes allowed herself moments of satisfaction. Never pride or happiness though - complacency was lethal around here.

But then along her path to glory, she ran into a bit of a Hiccup. Quite literally. A vacant smile blossomed on her lips as her thoughts turned towards him. Hiccup the Useless, Hiccup the Runt; when it came to screw-ups he was at the front. That is, until dragon killing training. It pissed Astrid off at the time. She was supposed to be better than the best, but then what had it said about her that the worst Viking Berk had ever seen was beating her in her own arena? Shortly after, though, she realised there were more important things than obsessive perfectionism. Friendship. Compassion. Trust. Sure, skills and tactics are essential, but those things that she learnt from Hiccup - is still learning - were what won the day time and again for Hiccup, and were what helped her drive away the Flightmare tonight. Now she couldn't really imagine what she'd do without her friends…nor what they'd do without her, for that matter.

Suddenly, a high pitched whistle pierced her thoughts. Astrid looked around in time to see Toothless alight with cat-like grace on the roof beside her. Hiccup slid off him and worked his way into a sitting position next to Astrid, also casting his gaze into the shimmering sky.

"Good evening, m'lady," he said.

"Hey, Hiccup," Astrid replied.

"What a night, huh?"

"Yeah," she answered distractedly.

Hiccup paused, turning to look at her with concerned eyes. "What's on your mind?" he said gently.

"Oh," she smiled at him apologetically, "I was just thinking about my uncle."

"Fearless Finn?"

She nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed and resumed her examination of the sky. "I just wonder what he'd think of me, now, all of this," she gestured vaguely.

Hiccup placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure he'd be really proud of you, Astrid. That Flightmare's got nothing on you."

She felt a grin tug at her lips. "No, I mean about the dragons."

"The dragons?"

"Yeah." Astrid absently scratched under Toothless' chin, who crooned contentedly. "What would he think of me running around with the same creatures that killed him, that have killed so many of us?"

Hiccup looked back up at the sky. "I don't know, you knew him better than I did."

"Hiccup, it's okay, I won't get mad."

"Well…you guys all saw him as this big, tough Viking," he said, emphasising the last few words with the Berk Viking accent, "but back when I was, y'know, the worst Viking Berk had ever seen, he…" Hiccup's arms floundered around, looking for the right words.

"He…?" Astrid prompted.

Hiccup avoided her gaze, "he treated me like I was one of you guys."

Astrid felt her heart pinch.

"I'm sure he would've come around, especially if my boar-headed father did," Hiccup finished.

When she was younger, Astrid always did wonder why Finn was so kind to that boy. At only four years old Hiccup had already developed a penchant for disaster, granted by the lacklustre gross motor control of his gangly body; and with his short attention span and insatiable curiosity, he just made things harder for everyone else. Astrid remembered glimpses of those early days with her friends. She remembered how they all adored their big Viking idols like Stoick the Vast and Fearless Finn. She remembered how they would pretend to fight like their heroes. And then she remembered Hiccup. He always got so distracted, with scrawling silly little things into the dirt, with the wildlife in the forests of Berk, even with misguided hunts for trolls. Though he denied it to this day, Astrid remained convinced Gobber was responsible for Hiccup's erroneous belief. Hiccup's little tangents had annoyed them. Frequently when he didn't play along they would berate him about living up to their heroes and becoming the new protectors of Berk. And then on that one afternoon, along came Finn Hofferson.

It was an afternoon like many others, using sticks as swords in a great battle of their imagination. Everyone tried their utmost, but no one could fell Astrid or Snotlout – no one except each other of course. As the battle wore on it became a duel between those two with everyone else watching to see who would come out on top this time. Snotlout was already stronger and faster than Astrid, but as her uncle once told her, that's worth nothing without the right timing. So she timed her strike; right as Snotlout drew his hand back ever so slightly in preparation for an attack. She lunged with the point of her 'sword' hitting his Snotlout's hand, disarming him. She closed the distance, put her 'sword' at his throat, and with a smirk that matched the glow of the sun at her back declared, "I win." She beamed at the rest of the kids, sharing in their excitement and exuberance at the battle. Her smile fell when she noticed who was at the back. It was Hiccup, and he wasn't even looking. His back was turned, seemingly transfixed with something on the ground in front of him. Astrid fumed, her face growing red. How in Midgard could the ground be more riveting than a sword fight? Between her and Snotlout no less? Well, if he wasn't interested, she'd make him interested – with her stick thunking into the back of his skull. The twins cheered, fists in the air. "Haha, yeah!"

"Nice throw!"

Astrid stomped past them to the bemused boy rubbing the back of his head. "What are you doing?!" she demanded.

"I-this flower-I never seen it around here before," he stammered. Astrid stood agape. "What's so good about flowers? They don't even do anything!"

"Well, I think they look nice."

Hiccup flinched as Astrid raised her foot up. When he looked again, the flower was a mush smeared into the dirt under Astrid's foot. He glared at her, his eyes gleaming with tears. To his credit, he didn't let them fall, Astrid thought.

"At it again, are we?"

All the kids looked up the slope. It was Finn; with his golden hair and a glint in his eyes, sauntering down with the careless ease of a man who knew his body intimately.

"Uncle Finn!" Astrid beamed. "Did you see the fight? Did you? Did you?"

Finn knelt down to her eye level. "Haha, yes, I did. Good precision, Astrid," he said, placing a hand on her tiny shoulder. He looked at Hiccup, who was still on his butt and red in the face. "How was it for you, Hiccup?"

"Oh, he was the first to drop," Snotlout chimed.

"And then he wouldn't even watch the rest of us," Astrid grumped.

Finn looked at her quizzically. "Should he have?"

"Yes! Then he might learn something useful instead of looking at stupid things like flowers!" As she said this she bore her eyes into Hiccup, who averted his gaze.

"Astrid, dear, why would he want to watch? He doesn't look like he's having much fun here."

"I didn't want to fight. They made me," Hiccup mumbled.

Astrid turned to him. "Well you gotta! We have to be good enough to fight dragons!"

Finn gently turned her back to face him. "Astrid, please, there are many ways a Viking can help Berk. Besides, there's no rush. He's got plenty of time to learn."

It had flummoxed Astrid at the time. She hadn't been able to comprehend that a Viking could love something more than being a big, warrior. After all, it was certainly a popular view, and not without good reason. To survive so far up in the desolate North, a Viking had to have the strongest of mettle to weather the biting cold of the unforgiving seasons; and they had to be the masters of battle, to stand against their foes and carve their rightful place into the world. Astrid didn't see much of either in Hiccup. Well, he did survive being born, which meant he had to have had at least some grit, given his lacklustre build; but he spent so much of his time like he did that day – gazing into the dirt or into the sky at something whose purpose eluded Astrid. Like a flower. Or a sparkly rock. Or weird cloud formations. Or shooting stars. And she would have included Arvin-dal's fire on that list as well if not for the stories.

"Yooo…Astrid..?" Hiccup was waving his hand in front of her face.

"Huh? What?"

"You're spacing out a lot tonight. You want some time alone?"

'Oh, sorry, no, it's ok," Astrid blushed.

"No really, I mean, I don't mind," Hiccup flustered.

"Seriously, it's ok, Hiccup," she said, punching him lightly on the arm.

He gripped his arm, face contorting with mock pain. "Aarrrrurggghghh my arm! It's broken! Aargh!"

Astrid chuckled. "Come on, Hiccup, you gotta Viking up."  
"Well, maybe if someone, I don't know, nursed me back to health?" Hiccup wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Astrid punched him again.

"Ow! Yeah, sorry, I know…that was bad."

"That was Snotlout-level bad."

Toothless crooned with laughter.

"Oh, I'm glad someone found this funny," Hiccup said.

Astrid giggled. "Well, it was a little…"

Hiccup smiled at her.

"…only because you're such a dork," she smirked.

Hiccup puffed his chest out. "Excuse you, little lady, I'm the biggest, baddest Viking on Berk," he intoned with the Berk Viking accent, gesturing with his index finger pointed at the rippling sky.

"Oh my, how could I have forgotten," Astrid replied sweetly, hands clutched over her chest, "being so nice he couldn't even kill a dragon, such a bad boy."

"Well, actually, I took down the biggest, baddest dragon around, soo…"

"That was Toothless, technically…"

Toothless looked up from scratching his armpit at the mention of his name.

"Argh, you…" Hiccup pouted at Astrid in mock annoyance, who smiled back innocently.

"But seriously, thanks, Hiccup."

"Huh? What for?"

"Being the dragon boy," she said, punching his arm again, face tinged with pink, "for helping me tonight."

"Oh, ah, no problem, Astrid," he said, rubbing the back of his head.

They both resumed gazing up at the emerald sky, sharing in the comfort of the companionable silence that fell over them.

Astrid simply let the time pass. It initially struck her as odd, but she realised lately she'd become more and more content with spending quiet moments just doing nothing. She also realised that doing so had far more to it than what it looked like from the outside. It was peaceful, nourishing; not feeling the need to train, or manage chores, or do anything. It was interesting to her that it was possible to feel free by being perfectly still, being as it was the polar opposite to flying on the back of a dragon. Though she supposed that feeling free was a result of living life to the fullest at the extremes instead of being stuck in the middle by the mundane. Who knew dragons would be the ones to set her free? Apart from Hiccup, though - he didn't count. Before, she had thought dragons were the ones keeping her trapped in the middle. They had made life far too treacherous to even dare to push the limits. The middle was the only safe place, especially on nights like tonight when Arvin-dal's Fire sheered across the sky.

She remembered the stories they used to tell, about the terror that came to Berk ironically on the most beautiful night of the year. Nobody could fight it. The Flightmare shone with a blistering radiance, it was like looking at the sun but far worse, since the sun couldn't rip you to shreds. And even if someone, by lucky chance, managed to steel their gaze against it, they would look to be frozen in fear as the Flightmare took them. All anyone could do was hide and pray it didn't bleed the village dry. It was times like those that people really needed a hero. After her uncle fell, it was down to her, as far as she saw it.

"Say, Hiccup?" Astrid said.

"Yeah?"

"What was your father doing when the Flightmare attacked last time? You know, when we were kids?"

"Oh, uh, he was getting everyone into shelter, I think."

"So he didn't try to have a go at the Flightmare?"

"No, don't think so. Besides, I think he cared more about keeping his people safe."

"Ah, of course."

"And if he's been using that as an excuse to avoid saying he was scared, he'll never admit it," Hiccup said with a chuckle.

Astrid smiled at him. "So he didn't want to be the big Viking hero to save the day?"

"I don't know. I guess he sees protecting his village as more heroic than randomly charging a crazy dragon and letting come what may to the rest of Berk."

Astrid fell silent.

"Uh, I didn't mean – "

"It's ok, I know what you meant," she said, smiling at him again briefly. "But what if you can protect the rest of the village **by** charging a crazy dragon? That's certainly what you did."

"Hah, well then it's all good now, isn't it? I don't know. I just don't like the idea of having to be aggressive."

"Not even to defend Berk?" Astrid wheedled.

"I never said I wouldn't do it if I had to." Hiccup smirked.

"Yeah. I just like the whole idea of 'a good offence is the best defence,' y'know?"

"Yeah, I getcha. Though sometimes a good defence is the best offence, eh?"

"Haha, true. Ironic that out of the two of us, I'm the sword and you're the shield."

"Huh? Why's that ironic?"

"You're the guy…" Astrid trailed suggestively.

"What? Oh. Haha. Yeah. Absolutely. But aren't you the one with heaps of blisters from training with all those swords?" Hiccup said innocently.

"They were axes," Astrid retorted, punching him viciously in the shoulder. "And it's not like you were any better, spending all your time on drawing and weird contraptions when you should've been learning to fight."

"But aren't we all glad I didn't?" said Hiccup, grimacing as he massaged his shoulder.

"Yeah, I suppose it all worked out in the long run. But you couldn't know that."

"Better than pretending to be a Viking when I'm not."

Astrid caught herself at that. "You are one of us, Hiccup."

"Really," he deadpanned.

"Yeah, I mean, like you were saying…goofing off, it all worked out, right? And I guess we all needed a reminder that it's not so bad goofing off sometimes."

Hiccup placed a palm on his face, sighing. "You don't get it, you just don't get it. It's just like with my dad."

"Ok, what don't I get?"

"I wasn't goofing off! None of it was!" Hiccup exclaimed. Toothless startled, looking inquisitively at Hiccup. "I mean, of course to your oh-so-perfect Viking mind it was, purely because it wasn't about fighting, but it was hard work! Getting details right when drawing stuff in the book of dragons! Getting the calculations right when designing Toothless' tail fin! Putting everything together just right in my bola catapult! That's what I do, Astrid, I'm not a fighter! And just because I'm not, doesn't mean what I do and love is 'just playtime,' it's stuff you guys would literally be dead without!"

Astrid was wide-eyed and speechless. She didn't think Hiccup had ever spoken back to her like this.

"I know combat stuff is important, I know it; it's hard to forget with Alvin and Dagur harassing us, but by the Gods, Astrid…"

"Hiccup, stop."

"Astrid – "

"Stop. Is this why you don't hang out with us much outside of academy stuff?"

Hiccup huffed, but nodded.

"Hiccup…" Astrid smiled wryly, "I think you've forgotten…the rest of us can't be exactly like you either. We're no good at that stuff. For us, it is goofing off, since it's not our forte."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "But aren't you always telling me it's always possible to learn and train up your body?"

"Yeah…It is…?"

"Then I guess the same could be said for my nerdy stuff too."

"Hmm…I never thought about it like that, but I guess it's true. Ok, how about a deal: you teach me some of your 'nerdy stuff' and I help you train up your body and fighting skill? I mean, you won't always have Toothless or a light Gronkle-iron shield…"

Hiccup smiled at her. "Yeah. I'd like that. I mean, I've been trying to do some stuff alone, but it's not helping as much as I'd like."

"Why alone? Wouldn't progress be faster with someone critiquing you?"

"Yeah, but look at me, it's a little embarrassing…"

"Ok, Hiccup look at me, right here," Astrid said, grabbing his shoulder with one hand and gesturing to her eyes with the other.

"Uh, ok?"

"Now repeat after me: it doesn't matter where I'm at."

"It doesn't matter where I'm at."

"All that matters is where I'm trying to go."

"All that matters is where I'm trying to go – huh? What does that even mean?"

"It means there's no shame in trying, as long as you do your best. But Gods help you if you slack off…" she smirked, punching her palm.

"Oh, definitely not. Wouldn't want that," Hiccup said, lightly punching her shoulder.

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Did you just…?"

"Just trying it out," Hiccup shrugged.

"That's my thing, you better watch it, dragon boy…" she smiled smugly, crossing her arms..

"Oh really? Y'know, I can just as easily pay you back when you're learning my nerdy stuff, so I figure I don't have to be too careful," Hiccup retorted, nonchalantly inspecting his fingernails, "What goes around comes around, so to speak," he finished, with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

"Yeah, well, big whoop, shouldn't be too hard to just draw what I'm seeing…working out requires actual work."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Yeah, I will."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Hiccup rummaged through Toothless' saddlebags until he managed to excavate a piece of charcoal and his journal, flipping to an empty page. "Draw me."

Astrid hesitantly took the journal and charcoal. "Huh?"

Hiccup smirked. "Well, you heard me. Get on it."

Astrid huffed, but maintained her confident smile. "My pleasure."

But as the minutes passed, she grew more and more perplexed. She knew what she wanted to see on the paper, but her fingers had no idea what to do. Their strokes were wild and clumsy – much like Hiccup with her axe, she mused. She rubbed away her stokes and tried to do them anew several times over, but they never seemed to be the right shape or size or angle…it was almost as if she had to put in hours and hours of training with proper technique to build up the required control, strength, and reflexive speed, she noted sardonically. That, at least, she was familiar with, and she found solace in that thought.

After a while, she stopped, eyeing her sketch thoughtfully.

Hiccup tried to peek over the journal. "Are you done?"

Astrid snatched it back to her chest, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. She arranged her face into an assured smile. "Nuh-uh. True art takes time." After a few moments, however, she sighed and said, "Yep, and it sucks."

"…can I see it?" Hiccup said, reaching for his journal.

"No," was Astrid's curt reply as she clutched it to her chest again, blood threatening to rise to her face.

"That **is** my journal, you know." Hiccup placed a hand on her shoulder. "Believe me, Astrid, I know what it's like to suck at something, so it'd just be weird if I made fun of you for the same thing." He gently pried his journal from her hands.

Astrid glared at the journal as Hiccup looked at her sketch of him.

He laughed softly. "A truly flattering interpretation of my features, m'lady."

"Hm." Astrid glared darkly down at the ground.

"Hey, Astrid."

She looked at him, her features softening slightly. "What?"

"Repeat after me: it doesn't matter where I'm at. All that matters is where I'm trying to go."

"Oh, shut up," Astrid said, shaking her head, but she couldn't help the goofy grin that tugged at her lips. "You're dumb. But thank you." She quickly pecked Hiccup on the lips.

Now it was his turn for a goofy grin to spread across his face, with a blush following suit. Suddenly, he looked up at the sky. "Hey…wait a minute – "

"What? What is it?"

"The fire's gone, and the stars as well, to boot," he responded despondently.

"Wow. We've been up here all night?"

"Well, I guess we did have that kerfuffle with the Flightmare…"

"True. Then we should probably get some sleep before dragon training tomorrow," Astrid said briskly, moving to slide down the roof.

"Wait."

Astrid looked at him quizzically.

"Y'know, Toothless could give you a lift down."

However by now the reptile was dozing pleasantly. Hiccup presently realised that he could feel long, yet gentle, gusts of air brushing his hand from Toothless' nostrils. He sighed.

"I reckon I'll just jump down. But thanks anyway," Astrid said.

"Won't it hurt?"

"Nah, you roll when you land. Disperses the impact force."

"Oh yeah. You don't suppose you could teach me the proper technique now would you?"

Astrid smirked. "By all means – your first lesson begins now."


End file.
